I have always seen it as something beautiful; a traditional marriage and household.
Before I gave my life to Jesus, I already saw it that way. At that time, I did not work for years in order to be able to take care of our two boys and our at home. I brought them to, and from school; we had a sandwich together at lunchtime; I took them to sports clubs and to friends; or we organized play dates at our home. When they were sick, there was never a problem because I could take care of them at home, and when they were unexpectedly free, we went out.
I helped out at school or helped out with taking care of other kids from school when their parents were short on babysitters; anything was possible. I have always experienced it as a blessing that the opportunity was there to raise our boys in that way.
But when the father of our boys and I divorced, things changed. After years of being at home, I had to go back to work outside the home. This was not a problem in itself, and I quickly picked up the thread again as I had done before the boys were born, and soon I went from a good job to a better job to an even better job.
I started building my life as a single mom, and it went really well. Although it was often a bit of a “juggling” between all the tasks and responsibilities of being a working mom with having my own home and household, I still seemed to thrive under pressure, LOL.
To be honest, I often felt like a lot; I did it all by myself: work, the children and all their accompanying activities, keeping our home in order, sports and all other daily activities and responsibilities that can fill our lives. You probably know it.
During these years I chose Jesus again, I did this before, you can read about it in my previous blog “My first encounter with Jesus”, and “Changes”, and from that moment on many things in my life started to change.
No more juggling
But in the summer of 2024, my life took an even bigger turn, where one hundred and eighty degrees is an understatement, LOL.
In a nutshell, I met my husband, and twenty-four weeks later we were married. Life with God is truly an adventure, LOL.
“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” – Ecclesiastes 4:12
As the first months of our marriage progressed, God began to work more and more and form that threefold cord together with us (Ecclesiastes 4:12). It is also a daily prayer of ours that we grow more and more into that strong threefold cord with God. We saw more and more of God’s Hand moving in our marriage, and I experienced very strongly that God was repositioning our roles as husband and wife within a marriage.
We followed teaching about this, prayed and talked a lot about it together and with God. Slowly but surely that image of a Biblical marriage, the role of the man and the role of the woman within that marriage, and the idea of a traditional family/marriage began to bubble up within us.
One morning I was walking with God when all of a sudden He spoke very clearly on this subject; He asked me to quit my job! While I was extremely excited at the thought of not having to juggle all the chores around the house and the responsibility of having a job anymore, I also shit seven colors of shit at the thought of actually quitting my job, LOL.
I decided to let it go for a few days before I went to my husband with trembling knees: “I have the feeling that God has put something in my heart………………”. His reaction was beyond expectations and an immediate confirmation: he jumped up from the couch and walked enthusiastically through the room! Completely excited and elated, and why he felt that way, he himself could not explain at that moment, LOL.
In the natural, looking at our finances, it was really not possible and not a very logical step. In addition, I also really enjoyed my work, and my salary was also very good. But the thought that I would only have to focus on one thing; taking care of my husband, our house and our children, made me very happy! And for my husband it was the same; the thought that I would be at home and keep everything running there, and he could come home after a long day of work knowing that I was there, made him very happy!
God spoke to my heart; He does not ask of His daughters to take on hundreds of tasks and responsibilities.
Through teaching and revelation, we gradually came to understand what it means when the man takes the lead as priest of the family and the woman follows and sees her family and household as her first ministry.
Aid, not maid!
There is nothing wrong with women working outside the home when necessary for whatever reason or when we want to; however, God showed me that our first priority should be our family and that we women should not feel inferior when we are “just a housewife” at home with our children.
It is a beautiful role that we are allowed to take as helpers to our husbands. When we see the word “helper” in the Bible, it is a word that God also uses for Himself. Also, the Holy Spirit is our Helper (John 14:16, Hebrews 13:6).
“The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?” – Hebrews 13:6
“The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” – Genesis 2:18
Steps of faith
I want to encourage you: Why not choose to embrace HIS plan? Will you take joy in: bringing God glory, being distinctively feminine, being a help meet, mothering children (others or your own), and being keeper of a home?
Sometimes it takes a LOT of faith on our part, but following HIS plan will always bring us joy, fulfillment, and blessings in the long run.
If God is speaking to you about this, I encourage you to take this step of faith. There is fulfillment, true joy, and blessing in store for the woman who chooses to live out and embrace God’s purpose.
The fact that this same word is applied to a wife signifies that we women have been given tremendous power for good in our husbands’ lives. God has designed wives to help their husbands become all that God intends for them to be. Also, the Hebrew word translated “helper” is ezer. Ezer means “to provide support for someone who needs help; to assist and encourage; to rescue and to be strong.” It implies great strength and helping in dire, life-threatening circumstances.
How do we help our men? Our primary responsibility is to help our husband.…
- Following, supporting, and submitting to his leadership (Genesis 3:16 and Ephesians 5:22)
- Respecting him (Ephesians 5:33)
- Loving him (Titus 2:4)
- Keeping the home (Titus 2:5)
We women are an aid, which is something completely different from a maid, LOL.
Very early in our marriage, I began to see the roles as God intended in the Bible and how beautifully everything fits together like a puzzle when each member takes on their role. God began to teach and show us how the Biblical roles are set up in a marriage and, more importantly, the reasons for them.
Whether you, as a woman, choose to work outside the home or not, our families and our homes should be our first priority. This has nothing to do with whether we women are not good at the work we could do in society, but with priorities. And Biblically, a woman’s first priority in the home is her family.
“I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house… – ” 1 Timothy 5:14
“That they [the older women] may teach the younger women to be… keepers at home..” – Titus 2:4-5
“The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.” – Proverbs 14:1
“She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.” – Proverbs 31:15
I also believe that for those women who choose to accept God’s plan and choose to stay home to provide for their family and home, and find joy in doing so, there WILL be a sense of freedom and certain blessings in doing so. The world, modern-day feminism, and even many Christians are choosing to reject God’s original plan.
Depending on your knowledge of the Bible, how you were raised, what you’ve been taught in school/college, and what you have chosen to believe, these ideas may be familiar or foreign, appealing or disagreeable. However, God’s plans and ideas are always best; we are not to be conformed to this world but to learn to renew our minds (Romans 12:2). As we do this, we also begin to discover God’s will.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” – Romans 12:2
Untold blessings are in store!
