At the time of writing, it is March and spring is slowly arriving in our country. The wind is still fresh, but in between there are glimpses of spring.
“March moves its tail” says the Dutch proverb, which means that the weather in March can sometimes change from one extreme to the other. Which reminded me of my walk with Jesus. One moment you seem to be wonderfully in “the flow” and then from one moment to the next you find yourself in a whirlpool of struggle. At least, it seems to come from time to time, out of nowhere. I now have a suspicion where it starts, and it often creeps in. But more about that later in this blog.
Busy busy busy
I was also wonderfully in “the flow” during this period. I was very busy with my homework and school days at Charis Bible College, I was doing everything for this blog, in between I was also working on a short course with Billy Epperhart; “Money Masters”, I was reading a fantastic book; “God of Prosperity by Tom de Wal (www.frontrunners.com), our church regularly evangelizes, and I would like to be there too, my normal work continued of course, my children also want something to eat now and then LOL, and then I also have a house that needs a cloth and mop occasionally, LOL.
Busy, busy, busy, and I think this is recognizable for most people.
Suddenly, what seemed like overnight to me, God seemed miles away! I could no longer pray, and I no longer had the strength to get up at 5 a.m. for quiet time before going to work. 
The “gate” to God seemed to be closed which was a perfect opening for the enemy to overwhelm me with worry and fear due to all kinds of situations that have been going on for a very long time and for which I am praying and trusting for a breakthrough. Suddenly these situations gave me a panic attack. It seemed hopeless, I was overcome with fear. My head was full of thoughts, and I was convinced that there would never be a breakthrough.
The most terrible scenarios filled my head. Days passed and I couldn’t get it out. I have experienced moments like this before and I know what to do; praise and thank God. But this time I was paralyzed.
Choose consciously
At times like this, it only helps if you consciously choose to take up your cross and go for Jesus again. Even though you don’t hear God, even though He seems to have disappeared, even though you see no outcome or breakthrough. We also have our logical mind, and then it comes down to it; what do you choose?
I seemed to be drowning in despondency, in questions, fear and doubts. And even though I was very aware at that moment of what was happening, that I was in my flesh and not in the Spirit and that the enemy had taken advantage of this, it still paralyzed me and I could not get out of that cramp. At such a moment, I know that I have to consciously choose Jesus.
I couldn’t pray, I had no words, so I chose to praise, praise and thank God. I chose to trust Him even though I didn’t see anything happening.
Proclaiming Bible verses works fantastic in such times! So I proclaimed, “I CHOOSE to trust You, for You are not a Man that would lie. I walk not by sight but by faith, I am Your child, and You have promised me never to leave me nor forsake me, Your Word is truth and I choose to believe Your Word despite my circumstances, You have always been faithful, so now You will also be.” (Numbers 23:19, 2 Corinthians 5:7, Galatians 3:26, Deuteronomy 31:8). I started worshiping and just started magnifying Him.
When God seems miles away and your situation seems hopeless, we don’t need to make complicated prayers. Thanking Him and magnifying Him is in fact enough. God responds to that, and can change everything with the snap of a finger.
At His feet
The moment I did this; God spoke quite quickly and the problems disappeared from my mind. He told me to take rest that day. To do nothing, let go of everything, and come to His feet. Although I had a lot planned, I took His advice to heart, I was grateful to receive from Him again. I walked outside into the sun. There is a beach just outside my city, it was beautiful spring weather, so I decided to walk there and sit. Just sit at His feet, talk to Him and nothing else. 
Resting is Biblical, look at Elijah who had seen mighty wonders of God. Fire from heaven (1 Kings 18:38-39)! But then shortly afterward, he was completely extinguished and asked God to take his life away. But what did God do, He sent an angel who woke Elijah up twice and instructed him to eat and sleep. Elijah did it and then walked in the wilderness for forty days and forty nights (1 Kings 19:4-9).
For me, that day was somewhat similar, and I witnessed how God redeemed the entire day in a single moment by directing me to simply rest and recharge at His feet.
Everything changed from desperation on my part, to complete peace and overview of the situation. The situation itself was still unchanged, but I had changed. God showed me again what was really important. In His presence there is peace despite your circumstances.
Pause!
When we are overwhelmed by worries and God seems nowhere to be seen, it could be due to various things. In my case, it was because I spent weeks focusing on God instead of with Him. Busy with Bible school, reading books, courses and church, but nowhere did I take time with Him.
Jesus regularly made time to sit at the Father’s feet. If Jesus needed this, how much more do we need it? Not taking time with God and your relationship with Him can provide an opening for the enemy to slip in.
Even though God may seem far away, He is within us, and He never leaves us (Deuteronomy 31:8). However, we are the ones who have gone astray. You may be in a panic state of “what should I do God, should I go left or right or should I stand still?”, but in such a situation we must learn to distinguish the lie from God’s Truth.
Press the brakes, and PAUSE! Look at the situation and try to figure out which lie you (unconsciously) started to believe? When we expose the lie in our thinking, we can then subordinate it to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).
Do you have thoughts of fear, confusion, doubt, discouragement, or condemnation? Then you know this is not of God, so take it captive and replace these thoughts with the Word of God. The truth sets us free, God’s Truth sets us free.
God's perfect peace
"for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his." - Hebrews 4:10
It is necessary that we constantly keep our eyes on Jesus, but I want to encourage you to also regularly choose from your logical human brain (
) to press the “pause button” and take your rest at His feet. It is important that, in addition to everything we want to do for Him, we take enough time with Him.
Perfect peace is a result of a disciplined thought life and keeping our eyes and thoughts focused on Jesus.
