05/08/2024
When the Lord gave me the idea to start interviewing people and sharing their testimonies on this blog, I asked my own mother the same question. She, too, has been walking with the Lord for years, and she too has a special testimony. But, humble as my mother is, she reacted a bit doubtful. Still, she couldn’t say no since she is the biggest fan of this blog, LOL.
- We start off laughing when I ask her to introduce herself:
Well, I’m your mother, LOL
Born on July 31, 1956, in Nijkerk. I have two older brothers; I’m the youngest of the three. My middle brother passed away in 2017, my oldest brother is fortunately still alive and lives, together with his wife, nearby.
- Grandpa and grandma were very religious, and the Lord had an important role in the family, right? How was that for you?
Yes, that’s right, grandpa and grandma were very religious. Grandpa was an elder in the church for many years and often visited people who needed a conversation or spiritual support. Grandma cleaned the church for many years. The Lord played a big role in our home, and grandpa and grandma loved the Lord very much. My relationship with grandpa, grandma and my oldest brother has always been very good. With my other brother, however, it was not good. He hurt me terribly in the past, and the relationship had become very disturbed.
“The faith was mainly based on religion; you had no relationship with God”
We grew up with the faith and went to church every Sunday, until I was about sixteen, and I didn’t really want to go anymore. I had a girlfriend, and her parents were also very religious. Every Sunday, grandpa and grandma and her parents went to church. We, as teenagers, lied and said that we would come to church also.
It was a big church; the whole village sat in church each Sunday, so her parents and grandpa and grandma wouldn’t miss us among so many people. We then said that we would go to church on our own on the scooter, but in the end we stayed at my girlfriend’s house and pretended that we were home from church earlier when her parents came home after the service.
Not as it should be, I know, but I was a teenager, and grandpa and grandma were quite strict about going to church. It was just part of family-life; you went out of habit; it was part of the upbringing.
Eventually, I married your father at a young age. We got married in church; those are also things you just did. For your parents and because that was just the way it was. Faith was mainly based on religion at that time.
You had no relationship with God.
Once married, we rarely went to church, much to the sorrow of grandpa and grandma. Yet, faith never completely left me. Eventually, I divorced your father. The first few years alone were difficult; I had no help from your father. He was not there for you, and he did not share financially in the care. Grandpa and grandma did what they could and helped with everything. After a few years alone with you and your brother and sister, I met your stepfather; Arie.
“Arie saw a lot in the lives of your grandparents; what God meant to them”
From the moment I met Arie, everything changed, also in terms of faith. He saw a lot with grandpa and grandma; what God meant to them. Especially when Grandpa came to a nursing home. Of course, we visited there very often, and on Sundays, Sunday services were also held there. The leader of these Sunday services in the nursing home also often came to Grandpa’s bedside, and that is how we initially got to know this man. This leader of the Sunday services in the nursing home was also a member of the church, of which my oldest brother and sister-in-law were also members.
In 2007 the enemy struck hard in our family; Arie was diagnosed with asbestos cancer.
At that time, he was not yet religious, but all those years he had seen the faith in God up close with your grandparents. After the diagnosis of asbestos cancer, he increasingly felt the need to talk to someone about it. My oldest brother and his wife then contacted the man from their church who was also the pastor in the nursing home, and Arie was able to have a number of conversations with him. Due to circumstances, he had to hand it over to someone else, and that is how Reverend Maasland came into our lives.
Based on these conversations, we also decided to register as members of the same church where my oldest brother and his wife were also members, and we started attending Sunday services.
But soon after that, Arie’s health deteriorated, and he could no longer physically bring himself to go to church. We still often listened to the sermons of the services via the church radio.
Reverend Maasland continued to visit us at home and supported us so well during Arie’s entire illness, which ultimately lasted two years, and after Arie’s death, Reverend Maasland was still there for me. He was a great support. Arie also had many conversations with him.
“God has not abandoned me”
Arie died on the sixth of June 2009 at the age of fifty-eight.
The pastor continued to visit me regularly. I had so many questions, and he was a great support to me. God did not let me go because, about a year after Arie’s death, I started the Alpha course.
- How did you come to do that all of a sudden? Did it come from yourself, or did someone cross your path?
I was called shortly after Arie’s death, by someone from the management of the Alpha course, to ask if I was interested in taking the course with her. I don’t really know why she called me about it, and she was not yet aware of Arie’s death at that time.
I knew her a little from church. At the time she called, I was still in survival mode because of Arie’s recent death, and my head wasn’t in the mood for it at all, so I declined her offer. She understood this, of course, but she did ask me if she could contact me again in a while. I agreed, of course, and a year later she called again, and then I was open to it.
The group of the Alpha course was not large, but very close, and we did a lot together. We visited conferences and went away for weekends together. It was a very valuable time. After this Alpha, I went on to do the follow-up course, the Beta course, together with two other people from the group. This was given by a couple who also had a weekly Bible study group. I have also maintained a special friendship with both of them, and I still go to their Bible study group every week.
One day, during this Beta course, someone came to me and said,
“I have this on my heart to tell you; I think the Lord wants you to take the Alpha course again.”
I was surprised and presented it to the management of the Beta. I was still at the beginning of my religious life and did not really know what to do with it. She advised me to go there and investigate it, if it did not bring me anything, then I would just come back to her.
No sooner said than done, and I signed up for Alpha again. The group was now much larger than the year before. There I met a number of ladies who have since become dear friends. Together we have experienced a great deal in recent years, and they have been a great support to me since then, also through the entire grieving process for the loss of Arie.
Doing Alpha for the second time was not for nothing; it has brought me a lot. In addition to having made valuable friendships, I have also learned to renew my thinking. I came from a very religious background, and it took years to renew my thinking in that. In the past, it was always that “big, scary” God. We were afraid of Him and had no connection with God at all. The pastor was almost waving his finger on Sunday, saying:
“Watch out, because God sees everything”
“Suddenly I was allowed to see myself as a child of God!”
Suddenly, I was allowed to see myself as a child of God!
“Me? But who am I to say that?”
That took a lot of time, to see myself that way.
I have friends who, for example, suddenly converted from the world; without faith, there I saw much more relaxation and freedom. While with me and with other friends who grew up in religion, it took much more time to break that.
- Do you still suffer from that now? Do you still notice it in your faith life?
No, I no longer have any problems with religion. Slowly and through the years, I have undertaken so much and seen God’s goodness; I have been to all kinds of churches, conferences and women’s weekends and I have been able to see and do so much. I have been able to witness many deliverances, healings and conversions. During all these things, I have also been able to discover and learn more and more about the Holy Spirit and who He is. Something that was not really talked about in the church in the past was mainly about God the Father.
I can now also say that the whole part of religion has been broken through. It was not easy, but fortunately I have been freed from this.
- Are there other areas where you still encounter problems?
Yes, what I find especially difficult is hearing God’s voice, and I know that this can grow through intimacy with Him. But that is also a stumbling block; distractions and everyday things sometimes cause that the rest and taking time for God are sometimes neglected, so that should actually be better.
- Some things are indeed difficult, but in other things it sometimes just comes down to making a choice: “Am I going to iron now or am I going to put that aside for time with God?” for example. Well, sometimes it really is just a matter of setting priorities.
That is certainly true, and I know that, only the execution is often a bit different. There is still some work to be done there.
- We are all on a journey, and we all have our journey with God and things to learn and adjust to. It will be like this for the rest of our lives, from glory to glory! What has stuck with you the most throughout your walk with the Lord?
Of course, there are many things, but the biggest is during the entire illness and death of Arie.
“God made sure that I was never alone”
God carried me like that during that entire period and afterward, and still does because I still miss him every day. God really showed that he cares for me. After his death, many people slowly disappeared from view. Mutual friends that we had, for example. But God restored all that because I was never alone. Suddenly, people came my way again, and new friendships were formed, including with very powerful women in the Lord. Such valuable friendships that I can still build on now, fifteen years later.
During Arie’s illness, it looked very much like I would have to start working full-time immediately after his death because otherwise I would not be able to make ends meet financially. I had not worked for years; I had always been at home to take care of you and the household, but the financial picture looked very bleak and worrying, something that Arie also experienced just before his death and which also caused him a lot of worry.
Arie suffered from asbestos cancer, and in the Netherlands there is the Institute for Asbestos Victims. The lung specialist at the hospital pointed it out to us at the time, and Arie immediately contacted this Institute. Through this institute, a large amount of money was released as a kind of compensation because he had contracted the disease while working in the navy in his teenage years.
“I see God's Hand and concern for me in this”
It was only after his death that many special things happened financially. For example, all sorts of “pots” suddenly became available from which unexpected money was released, something I did not know about or had not counted on. There were also amounts that were paid out monthly. Because of all these unexpected financial resources, it was still possible for me to continue living in the same house and to continue living the way we always had before he died, and I could grieve in peace. That was one less worry because at first things looked really bleak financially.
I will not get Arie back with it, and I would have handed in everything and more, immediately if I could have him back, but I do see God’s Hand and care over me in this. He not only carried me through the entire grieving process, because without Him, I could not have gotten through this, but He also took care of me in all practical and financial areas and still does. No, I could not have done it without Him, and I am still grateful to Him for that every day.
“God taught me to forgive and restored the broken relationship with my brother”
God also restored the bond with my brother. This had been very disturbed since my childhood. Things had happened that the rest of the family had no knowledge of and which had damaged me greatly. God restored my wounds and taught me to forgive my brother. He
restored the bond between us. My brother had a stroke in 2017 and ended up in a nursing home. Years before that, he had also had a brain hemorrhage, so his health was no longer optimal. After he had a stroke on top of this, he became dependent on care and could no longer live at home. God taught me to forgive him, which allowed me to be there for him, and we were able to experience wonderful moments together during the last two years of his life. God also gave me the strength to care for him during those years. Of course, I am also very grateful to Him for that, because without His strength, I think I would not have been able to forgive my brother, and I would not have been able to care for him so lovingly and intensely during the last years of his life. I now have very fond memories of my deceased brother.
- The power of forgiveness! Are there also certain Bible texts that you were able to draw a lot of strength from then, or now? Or that are very important to you?
Yes, definitely! On October 9, 2022, I was baptized and my baptismal text is such an important support for me; Isaiah 43:1 “I have called you by name, you are Mine!” Why it touches me so much, I actually have no words for. Every time I read it, it hits me so hard! Yes, I am His, what peace and certainty that is!
“But now thus says the LORD, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.” - Isaiah 43:1
- That’s so beautiful! I actually have one more question: who is Jesus to you?
He is my anchor.
I am not a big fan of too many words and some people can describe things so beautifully, but for me this is all-encompassing. When you look at the state of the world right now, He is the only stability we have;
"He is truly our only anchor!"
Are you also interested in sharing your testimony on this site? Leave a comment below, and I’ll get in touch.
