When I was a little girl, my family and I used to go to church. All I can remember about that was that the pews were hard and cold, and my mother gave us a mint during the service.
I was about twelve years old when my parents divorced. My father (and that whole side of the family) disappeared from our lives, and we stopped going to church.
To the sadness of my grandpa and grandma. (my mother’s parents). They loved the Lord very much, and their entire lives revolved around God. Grandpa had been an elder in the church for years and also visited people’s homes who needed spiritual support. And grandma helped keep the church clean.
Mom didn’t have an easy time with three growing small children, but fortunately after a few years she met my dear stepfather, who lovingly took on the role of father. Yet, God remained far out of sight in our family until about fifteen years ago.
Okay Jesus, I want to get to know You
I left home and started my own family. By the time, my eldest was two years old and the youngest was almost a year old, I became interested in seeking God. I had so many questions, and they were finally answered in the “Jip and Janneke” language (a Dutch saying for a straightforward and childlike explanation😊).
Finally, everything became a bit clearer. I also wanted to know Jesus, and it was explained to me how I could invite Him into my life. With a childlike 
faith and quite uncomfortably, I got down on my knees and said: “Well okay Jesus, I also want to get to know You and invite You into my life. I believe that You are the Son of God and You died on the cross for my sins and rose again the third day.”
I then experienced an indescribable feeling of supernatural peace and joy passing through me. That same day people asked me “What’s wrong with you?” referring to a huge smile that never left my face. That same week, God answered a prayer in a special way. I was perplexed! “So it’s all real! You really do exist!”
Unfortunately, I found myself in an environment that was not stimulating for my new life that had just begun. I was alone in this, and didn’t know anyone else who also believed, the people around me offered a lot of resistance, thought it was strange and did not accept it.
I wasn’t allowed to talk about it or say anything about it. There was just some kind of ban on it.
I tried to find a church, but didn’t know where to look and didn’t know anyone in my area who could help me.
I slowly let go of Jesus.
Looking back on everything that has happened over the past fiftheen years (and that’s a lot, LOL), I see; I might have let go of Him, but He was not letting go of me!
God's hand is on you
God promises in His Word, He will not let go of what He has started (Psalm 138: 8) even though you are so far away, He will not let go. He had His eye on me and did not give up on me!
“The Lord will vindicate me; your love, Lord, endures forever
do not abandon the works of your hands.”
– Psalm 138:8
Tough years followed, my stepfather passed away from a terrible illness. I ended up getting divorced from the father of my children, which was very difficult for everyone because we had been together for over twenty years and had two beautiful sons. These were turbulent years in which I made many mistakes, hurt others and had to endure a lot of pain myself.
Yet, when I look back, I see God’s Hand. 
In a very special way, I was assigned the house where I could make a new start with my boys and with which I am still blessed.
After years of not working because I was a stay-at-home mother for our boys, I suddenly had to go back into the business world, but in no-time I went from one job, to a better job, to an even better job.
And in addition, I received many beautiful “little” winks from God. Though, I had not realized it yet, God was with me and leading me. The Holy Spirit led me into forgiving the people who had hurt me, so that I did not become bitter and did not hold grudges. They could scream, kick, spit or gossip, but it didn’t bother me. I was able to forgive them again and again, and again, without difficulty and without leaving any bitterness or resentment in my heart.
I thought it was special, but I didn’t realized how it was possible. Now I know how it happened, or rather, WHO made that possible that I was able do so
.
Re-choice for King Jesus
At a job where I worked at that point, I met a sister in the Lord who invited me to the Sunday service at her church. I accepted her invitation and met up with her the following Sunday. Not only that, but I remember how welcome I felt among the people in church. I was welcomed with open arms, God’s presence was palpable, and there during that service, years have passed since my first encounter with Jesus,
I once again made the choice for my King Jesus!
And this time I decided, I would grab Him with both hands and never let go. No matter what people would say, no matter who would make fun of me, no matter who would walk away from me, I would hold on to Him!
This was four and a half years ago now, and it’s far gone, The Best Choice of my life! Much has changed after my “re-choice” for Jesus. I was baptized, and my relationship with God grew like crazy!
He leaves the ninety-nine...
I am so grateful to Him that He never gave up on me, and He never let go. He honestly leaves the ninety-nine for that one (Luke 15:3-6)!
He searches until He finds you again, and He continues to draw you to Himself with His cords of love (Hosea 11:4), until you respond to His calls.
He won’t let you go.
Are you now in a place far from God? Have you wandered and want to return to Him? There is always a way back to Him, look at the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32).
He made stupid mistakes, but his father welcomed him back with open arms. How much more do you think that your Heavenly Father stands with His arms wide open to welcome you back into His home?
You are never too far away to return. Don’t look at your faults, your shame or how far you may have strayed from Him, just make that choice again, and return to Him.
Seek Him, and He will certainly be found, He is ready to bring you back into His family!
