Today, while painting my nails, I listened to such a beautiful song: “If I got Jesus” by Ben Fuller. The moment he sang the words that anything and anyone can be stolen from him, as long as he has Jesus, it struck me for a moment. This is exactly what has happened to me in recent years.
When I chose Jesus, I still had a relationship and plenty of friends. Early in my walk with God, I went to church occasionally and started reading the Bible and some other great books. But at that time, I mainly lived with one foot in the world.
I grew in my relationship with God, became hungrier for Him and the Word, was baptized, and attended all kinds of conferences.
God slowly changed me, and it became more and more visible to the outside world. I have never been ashamed of God, and I proclaimed to everyone who would listen (or not; I had quite a bit of difficulty with dosage) how beautiful a life with God was and what He had already done for me up to that point. But in the environment I was in, no one wanted to know anything about Him. It was tolerated that I had come to faith, but nothing more.
For a long time, I held on and tried to show them the love of Jesus. I prayed and prayed for them, but I still saw nothing happen. Of course, nothing is impossible for God, but we still have our own will, and God does not touch our free will.
Meanwhile, God changed me completely! Sometimes, when I look back at how I used to be in life and how I was, I can hardly believe that I was like that! People who don’t know me from that time cannot imagine that I really was that person when I tell them about it.
A proverb here in the Netherlands says “having a short fuse,” which is meant by someone who “explodes with anger” at the slightest thing. Well, I can tell you, I had no fuse at all. It was an immediate explosion for me when something didn’t go the way I wanted. I could curse like a construction worker. I was not afraid to show people the “prettiest” finger on my hand if they bothered me on the road. And if someone was tailgating with me, that person would have a problem! I would stop the car in the middle of the road to walk up to that person and ask “kindly” what was wrong with them?
Or all the times when the copier at work didn’t do what I wanted, then the whole office knew about it. No, I wasn’t an easy one. I wanted to have my way with everything, and I had certainly never heard of patience. In addition, I was as impulsive as I could be and did things first, then later thought about whether it was the right decision or not.
Yes, I was a charm. Lol.
Knock the dust off your feet
God began to change me, to mold me, to shape me and everyone around me saw it happen. My children, my then-partner, friends, family and colleagues. People started to alienate me, and I was once even told, “I think you’re such a nice girl, and you’re so sociable and fun, but that (referring to my faith) is something I don’t like about you.” It didn’t even hurt me when the person said that to me; it just reminded me of what Jesus said in Luke 23:34: “They know not what they are doing.”
It is ignorance that makes people, who do not know God, react this way. They no longer recognize you, and they lose a partner, a friend, a drinking and party buddy, or perhaps even a family member.
God apparently changed me so much that people around me said, “You look the same on the outside, but you act different; you react differently. It’s like I have to get to know you again.” This, of course, was a great compliment for me, and confirmation that I was on the right track in my walk with God. But while I was finding myself more and more in Him, the people around me lost the person they thought they knew in me.
But despite that, we must continue to hold on to God because, ultimately, He is the one who is most important and His will for our lives. He chose us and paid us with a price beyond price: His Son.
The least we can do is live for Him.
I continued to grow in my walk with God. I continued to pray for the people around me and even beg for God to change them. But instead of them repenting, they slowly disappeared from view. I have often thought about what Jesus says in Matthew 10:14. He wanted to help the people, but they did not want to listen. That is your sign to remove the dust from your feet and keep going.
People have their own choice and their own will, and when they remain so stubborn, it can sometimes be a sign for us to knock the dust off our feet and get on with our lives. We can continue to pray for them, but our walk with God must continue.
If I got Jesus
While I was busy painting my nails nice and red again, listening to the lyrics of the song, I thought about the past years, how much has changed, and, above all, how many people from my old life have disappeared. There is honestly no one left from that time. I shed a tear for a moment, but soon I was filled with joy! Because even if I had lost everyone of that old life,
I got Jesus!
I got Jesus instead, and everything and everyone could be stolen from me, but Jesus will never leave me nor forsake me (Hebrews 13:5).
Leaving people and relationships behind can be quite challenging and painful. People you have to distance yourself from, or people who distance themselves from you. Whatever the case, it can be very sad. But God sees it, and He also sees why you do it. They cannot join you on your journey with God; it will create blockages or hinder your growth with Him.
It is so important for us, as children of God, to put Him first. We are no longer of this world, and the more we grow with God, the more we will find ourselves hating the things He hates and loving the things He loves.
I also lost many friendships and even a relationship, but I gained so much more! Everything old has literally passed away, and the new has arrived (2 Corinthians 5:17).
I can now build my life and relationships on Him, with Christ as my foundation (Matthew 7:24–27), and that makes it all worth it.
Be thankful for closed doors
I am grateful to God for the closed doors.
I am grateful that God gave me the strength to be able to say goodbye to certain people which ultimately were not good for me and for my future because, since then, I have seen enormous growth in my relationship with God.
Was it easy? No, certainly not and it still hurts from time to time, but I know Who I did it for.
I would like to encourage you to take a good look at the relationships in your life. Do they bring you closer to God, or keep you away from Him? Is your growth with God hindered, or do you notice spiritual blocks? Be honest with yourself and with God, and ask Him to show you if the relationships are the right ones for you and for your life.
And when He shows you who it is better to say goodbye to, trust Him and take the step to move on with your life, because ultimately He knows who the right people are in your life, and He will give you so many more beautiful and deeper friendships in return!
