September 11, 2024

As I have told you before, I lived in the world for years before I met King Jesus. In that life before I knew Jesus, everything happened the worldly way. The same goes for relationships, of course. My whole life, I didn’t have a very good example of what a relationship or marriage should be like. Or rather; how not to do it was my example. My father disappeared from view when I was very young. I can still remember things from my parents’ marriage, but it was nothing to “write home about”, as we say in the Netherlands when something is not as it should be. My mother remarried my dear stepfather, this marriage was beautiful but unfortunately did not last long, my stepfather died at the age of fifty-eight and from that moment on my mother was alone again. So I didn’t really get an example of what a good and Biblical marriage should be like. I have also gone through a divorce myself, when I look back on it, I sometimes think; we both had no idea how to manage and keep the marriage on the right track. We just did what we did, hardly talked to each other, just lived our lives and grew completely apart with all the consequences that entailed. After my divorce I ended up in a relationship and in this relationship I gave my life to Jesus. From that moment on, everything changed, and an unequal team was created! God changed everything in me. The old is gone “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” – Ezekiel 36-26 As soon as you choose Jesus you are a new creation, everything old has passed away (2 Corinthians 5:17) and He gives you a completely new heart, a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36-26) He gives you His Spirit and you are sealed with Him (Ephesians 1:13). “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit,”    – Ephesians 1:13 God changed me completely, and the change was apparently so immense that my then partner no longer recognized me. One day we were sitting at the kitchen table when he said, “you look the same, but I don’t know you anymore. You react differently, act differently… it’s as if I’m dating Jesus Himself.” A great compliment for me of course; Praise the Lord, and confirmation that I was on the right path with God, but beyond his comprehension. Ultimately, this relationship also failed. God showed me that this relationship was not what He had for me, He even once spoke to me very briefly and forcefully and out of the blue, “he is not your husband”! I was in a split in this relationship, on the one hand my relationship with God and on the other hand my relationship with him. More and more I had to make concessions at the expense of God. That was the last straw because God has my first place. So, this ended also this relationship. Almost immediately afterward, God gave me a promise:  a Godly man and Biblical marriage was waiting for me in the future. My “wish-list” I stood on this beautyful promise, so from that moment on I started bringing all my heart’s desires to God. I listed for myself what was important to me and brought this to God. I saw it all very clearly and after all the years of experiencing how I no longer wanted it, I brought everything to God how I did want it. All my desires were in line with God’s Word, so I knew I could bring this all to Him. He is a good Father and wants to give you all the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4). As long as they are in line with His Word, He can and wants to give these to you, and you may also come to Him with these as a child. “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” – Psalm 37:4 For months and months, I worked with God on myself and on my relationship with Him. He gave me a number of points and Bible texts to focus on which I could apply in many areas, so I learned to take better care of my body, soul and my spirit-man. God led the way and healed old wounds that were apparently still there, and He gave me direction. I made sure that I stayed very close to Him, so that I would learn to hear His guidance and voice better and better. My hunger was to hear His voice so clearly, that I could anticipate it more quickly in difficult situations. He showed me why all the other relationships had not worked and what a Biblical marriage looked like. I was busy in the Word, busy with Bible school and all the homework, He gave me a purpose and showed me my gift of writing, which in turn led to the creation of this page; Come See a Man. Although I found it very difficult at times, I also enjoyed being single and spending all my time with God. He showed me that I was in a waiting season and that a waiting season does not mean; sitting back and passively wait. But that it means; being active, investing in God and your relationship with Him, investing in discovering yourself and healing old wounds. I examined the Word about finances, tithing, sowing and harvesting and I also examined the Word about marriage, relationships and unequal yoking. God showed me to behave and act now as if I were already married. He already had someone for me in the spiritual, He showed me that it is therefore