Gracefully broken
Not all of us will grow up in an environment filled with God’s love. In fact, I think most of us live completely in darkness before responding to God’s call. At least, when I look at myself, that has certainly been the case. For forty years, even. By the time I came to know God, old patterns and ways of thinking had already worn into my thoughts and habits. Miserable events had already left their mark. Ways of thinking about myself, old wounds and my view of the world. Of course, it makes sense that we all go through a lot of things in life, since we live in a broken world. Either way, we all face a lot of trauma and misery. We all have a backpack. We put up walls, an certain attitude or a mask, all for self-protection, and before you know it, you no longer even notice that you are doing it. It has become second nature to you. We put our skeletons in the closet, out of sight, out of mind, right? Or not… Clean up the mess We will never be able to clean up all the mess from the past on our own because sometimes we simply can no longer be aware of why we have certain patterns or actions. You can walk around with wounds in your soul for years without even realizing it, or maybe you are aware of it, but don’t know how to solve it. People turn to drugs, sex, alcohol or all kinds of other ways to numb the pain in their soul. We hop from relationship to relationship thinking we can fill certain holes in our souls. We kick at people or blame others, etc. People have these addictions and patterns out of pain. They do not show up out of thin air. Somewhere, something has happened that damaged their hearts. How do you break out of this when you may not even know what is bothering you or where your wounds come from? How do you get to the core, the root of the problem? All kinds of therapies are out there, and I won’t say they are all ineffective, but rather than hopping from therapy to therapy, treatment to treatment or from doctor to doctor why not go to THE Healer? Jesus, our Healer There is Someone who knows us better and knows best what we need and where our wounds come from. He knows better than anyone else how to heal this. I remember so well that God healed me from wounds that I thought had long been healed. Years had already passed, and I thought I had processed some things by now, but God showed me that was not the case. He showed me what had to be removed and cleaned up because it would cause blockages. He is interested in cleaning, organizing, and healing our hearts (Psalm 147:3). As with an invisible finger, He will place it on the sore spot. Not to break us or hurt us, but to point it out to us because you can’t acknowledge what you don’t know. “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” – Psalm 51:10 Sometimes certain things must first be demolished before they can be rebuilt. He does that, breaks us gracefully, in love, and then builds us up again, using His love and strenght as our new foundation to build on. God knows your heart. He made you. He knows you inside and out, even better than you know yourself. Not only that, but He knows what you need to heal. Ask Him to search your heart and show you what hidden pitfalls there are, as David also prayed: “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” – Psalm 139: 23-24. We need to be healed; we cannot continue to walk as broken people because not only is it not good for ourselves, it is certainly not good for the people around us. We unknowingly damage others, and a downward spiral is born. Likewise, we need God’s love to set us free from this. I want to encourage you to let Him heal your wounds with His immeasurable love. He will help clean up all your traumas, wounds and messes, but you must give Him permission to do so because He will not force Himself to you. Give your heart to Him and let Him become the Healer of your soul.
