As I have told you before, I lived in the world for years before I met King Jesus. In that life before I knew Jesus, everything happened the worldly way. The same goes for relationships, of course.
My whole life, I didn’t have a very good example of what a relationship or marriage should be like. Or rather; how not to do it was my example.
My father disappeared from view when I was very young. I can still remember things from my parents’ marriage, but it was nothing to “write home about”, as we say in the Netherlands when something is not as it should be.
My mother remarried my dear stepfather, this marriage was beautiful but unfortunately did not last long, my stepfather died at the age of fifty-eight and from that moment on my mother was alone again.
So I didn’t really get an example of what a good and Biblical marriage should be like. I have also gone through a divorce myself, when I look back on it, I sometimes think; we both had no idea how to manage and keep the marriage on the right track. We just did what we did, hardly talked to each other, just lived our lives and grew completely apart with all the consequences that entailed.
After my divorce 
I ended up in a relationship and in this relationship I gave my life to Jesus. From that moment on, everything changed, and an unequal team was created! God changed everything in me.
The old is gone
“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” - Ezekiel 36-26
As soon as you choose Jesus you are a new creation, everything old has passed away (2 Corinthians 5:17) and He gives you a completely new heart, a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36-26) He gives you His Spirit and you are sealed with Him (Ephesians 1:13).
“And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit,” – Ephesians 1:13
God changed me completely, and the change was apparently so immense that my then partner no longer recognized me. One day we were sitting at the kitchen table when he said, “you look the same, but I don’t know you anymore. You react differently, act differently… it’s as if I’m dating Jesus Himself.” A great compliment for me of course; Praise the Lord, and confirmation that I was on the right path with God, but beyond his comprehension. Ultimately, this relationship also failed.
God showed me that this relationship was not what He had for me, He even once spoke to me very briefly and forcefully and out of the blue, “he is not your husband”!
I was in a split in this relationship,
on the one hand my relationship with God and on the other hand my 
relationship with him. More and more I had to make concessions at the expense of God. That was the last straw because God has my first place. So, this ended also this relationship.
Almost immediately afterward, God gave me a promise:
a Godly man and Biblical marriage was waiting for me in the future.
My “wish-list”
I stood on this beautyful promise, so from that moment on I started bringing all my heart’s desires to God. I listed for myself what was important to me and brought this to God. I saw it all very clearly and after all the years of experiencing how I no longer wanted it, I brought everything to God how I did want it. All my desires were in line with God’s Word, so I knew I could bring this all to Him.
He is a good Father and wants to give you all the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4). As long as they are in line with His Word, He can and wants to give these to you, and you may also come to Him with these as a child.
“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” – Psalm 37:4
For months and months, I worked with God on myself and on my relationship with Him. He gave me a number of points and Bible texts to focus on which I could apply in many areas, so I learned to take better care of my body, soul and my spirit-man.
God led the way and healed old wounds that were apparently still there, and He gave me direction.
I made sure that I stayed very close to Him, so that I would learn to hear His guidance and voice better and better. My hunger was to hear His voice so clearly, that I could anticipate it more quickly in difficult situations.
He showed me why all the other relationships had not worked and what a Biblical marriage looked like.
I was busy in the Word, busy with Bible school and all the homework, He gave me a purpose and showed me my gift of writing, which in turn led to the creation of this page; Come See a Man.
Although I found it very difficult at times, I also enjoyed being single and spending all my time with God. He showed me that I was in a waiting season and that a waiting season does not mean; sitting back and passively wait. But that it means; being active, investing in God and your relationship with Him, investing in discovering yourself and healing old wounds.
I examined the Word about finances, tithing, sowing and harvesting and I also examined the Word about marriage, relationships and unequal yoking. God showed me to behave and act now as if I were already married. He already had someone for me in the spiritual, He showed me that it is therefore important to live, act and think clean and pure now as if this had already happened in the natural.
Everything I did I thought “if I were married now, would I do this?”, and when the answer was “No”, it was, for me, the sign not to do so now. I was very critical of who I allowed into my life, especially the opposite sex. I prayed for every person who (tried) to come into my life and personally saw God’s intervention. At one point, God took a person out of my life with the snap of a finger after my prayer. He spoke very clearly “this person is not sincere and not good for you, I will take him away from you”, no sooner said than done and suddenly the person had disappeared from the face of the earth 😊LOL.
The desire to serve God and share life with a partner grew and grew. I didn’t want to complain, but every now, and then I did get sad, which I also expressed in prayer.
For years, I felt alone in 
the relationships I had. I longed for how things should be. Although I had no idea what that would look like. After all I had researched the Bible and the hours of teaching and sermons I had seen about it, I began to see more and more of it and decided to hold on to it, along with God’s promise to me of a Godly man and Biblical marriage, at that time almost a year earlier.
At some point, I decided to stop making my desires known to God, He already knew them for a long time, LOL. So, I just let go of that piece, and instead, I started to already thank God for the man He would give me. I chose to let go and trust Him. I prayed:
“Lord, I trust You, I trust You with all my dreams, all my heart’s desires. I give everything to You and chose to let it go.”
In the meantime, I continued to pray for my future husband, that he would be a man after God’s own heart, firmly rooted in the Word, with God first. I prayed for his health, his well-being, his family, that he would also live clean and pure, and I continued to pray that he would have strong Christian men around him. I also took my authority and broke any blockage or delay that might be or would come our way or that would prevent us from meeting each other, and I proclaimed that I would meet him that year.
Words have power (Proverbs 18:21) and that which is not yet there we can speak into existence (Mark 11:23-24).
“Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them.Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." - Mark 11:23-24
Doors opened and paths became straight
Suddenly, when I didn’t see it coming; there he was and walked into my life! Completely unexpectedly and neither of us were looking for it, God brought us together and we met each other. We spoke briefly and within a few days the first meeting took place. We walked through a beautiful nature reserve and spent the day together. At the end of the day I already knew, this is it, it’s him, and I didn’t want to leave! And this was mutual!
We were both overcome by the feeling of coming home that we experienced together and all the pieces of the puzzle fell together. God quickly took us by the hand, we truly were led. There was no stopping us, we stood there and watched everything that was happening to, and through us.
After the second meeting, it was clear to us that we don’t want to miss each other anymore. And after the third meeting we already expressed that we loved each other and plans were made for the future, we already knew that we would live in his house. A home and a place I had been praying for months before we met!
We discussed how we could build our lives together, firmly on Jesus, we prayed together for ourselves, for our future and for our children.
Within two weeks our friends, family and children were informed! And they were all pleasantly surprised and none of them said, “Wouldn’t you just take it easy,” LOL.
God truly paved the way, doors opened, paths became straight, and hearts of those around us were softened and touched. This allowed me to testify of Jesus to colleagues and people around us because people saw with their own eyes what was happening! They could no longer ignore the goodness of God.
Everything came together and there was no stopping it. Overwhelmed with gratitude to God, love and joy overwhelmed both of us.
The confirmations and blessings flowed in daily, it was impossible to keep up. We both had trouble giving all those blessings a place because before we had even recovered from one confirmation, the next one was there, and blew our minds.
After a few weeks, I took a little time-out. A few nights at the seaside, alone and time with God, trying to process everything that had happened and was still happening at that moment. We were truly overwhelmed by all of God’s goodness.
Within a few moments, our entire vision of the future had changed. One moment I was single, with only a promise from God in “my pocket” of a Biblical marriage with a man after His own heart, the next moment I had met the man He had for me!
Make your dreams known to Him
“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" - Matthew 7-9-11
I want to encourage you; go to your Heavenly Father and bring all your dreams and desires to Him. Trust Him with everything you hope and desire for in life, and then let it go. Because, the moment I let go and just trusted God and His timing, He was able to continue working in me and in my life. Not long after that I met the man He promised to bring me on my path a year earlier.
He is your Father and wants to give you the desires of your heart as long as it is in line with His Word, for He will not go against His own Word.
Just as an earthly father wants to give everything to his children, how much more do you think your Heavenly Father wants to give everything to you (Matthew 7:9-11). 
As you wait for the partner God has for you, I want to encourage you; don’t run ahead of God, wait for His perfect timing.
Focus on Jesus and don’t be distracted or tempted by counterfeit love. The enemy will also send people in your path in hopes of stealing the person and the path God has for you. It is therefore important to stay in tune with the Holy Spirit.
Pray for discernment, pray for every contact that comes into your life, pray for wisdom and insight, stay close to God, in His Word, and wait on Him.
He will bring you the person He has for you, and when that moment comes, brace yourself because things can change at the speed of light😉.
